Sherlock's Choice
by ShyDreamer84
Summary: Ever since John was taken, Sherlock has never been the same. Sherlock is shot in the chest chasing a killer. His found and in hospital. Trapped between two worlds. To live with or without John that is a question only Sherlock can answer, with a little he


**Note: I only own the story line and Elisa. I don't own the characters from the BBC. This is my first Sherlock story. I hope you enjoy it. I have checked it for errors however if you find any big ones, let me know. I hope it shan't be too confusing. Thanks for reading and please Review!**

**Ever since John was taken, Sherlock has never been the same. Sherlock is shot in the chest chasing a killer. His found and in hospital. Trapped between two worlds. To live with or without John that is a question only Sherlock can answer, with a little help along the way.**

He awoke to find himself surrounded by a bright light. amazingly nothing hurt. Their was no blood on him.

"Where am I?" He murmured looking around. It appeared to be a station, but he had never seen this station, nor could see any signs or trains. The platforms were all white. He glanced up to find a message board

"Sherlock Holmes please go to platform 4" it read

Sherlock looked around, blinking and the station started to resemble itself more. He saw a sign above his head. Platform 2. He started looking around for some stairs, deciding for a brief time, to follow orders and ask questions later. He then noticed some stairs that seemed to magically appear behind him, directing him to platform 4. As he walked down the stairs, he met man shadows and human shapes, though none were completely formed however the all seemed in a hurry, as to catch a train, a train only they could see. He arrived on Platform 4 and saw a lone figure sitting on a bench with his back to him. He appeared to be male, with sandy coloured short cropped hair, just under average height for a man, Sherlock noted. He also appeared to be ex military sitting with his back straight on the bench. He seemed oddly familiar too. He walked over to man, and gentle laid a hand on his shoulder to draw his attention. He made a quick jump.

"Of course John" Sherlock said

The figure turned around, to Sherlock's horror the figure had a no face or distinguishing marks. He had no eyes, nose or mouth. He was faceless. Sherlock shivered slightly. What had happened to John? He then noted the man pointing to another direction, to another man sitting on a bench, with short dark hair, taller than average, a relaxed posture seeming to be relaxing without a care in the world. Confused Sherlock followed the man's direction and quietly approached the man

"Excuse me..." He said approaching from behind gently touching the man's shoulder to draw his attention from wherever it was. He felt a familiar tingle run up his arm, a feeling only man had ever produced. John. But how? Dark hair? Taller? Relaxed?

The man turned around with a smile

"Took you long enough" He said with a glittering smile that dazzled Sherlock

"John...but your...wait am I dead?" Sherlock asked, not liking that he appeared to have no control here

"Yes I am,No you're not, shall we go for a walk? Their is a lovely park connected to the station, and the serve a great brew" He stood up. Sherlock could merely nod, still shocked at his latest discovery. He followed John, who nodded at the faceless figure.

"First rule here, not everything is at it seems or was" John said guiding Sherlock down the stairs and suddenly out into the light. They walked a short distance and found the café. John ordered 2 cups of tea, two scones with jam and cream and sat down on one of the tables.

"I am guessing you have some questions?" John asks

Sherlock merely nods

"What can you deduce so far?"

"Your dead, the last thing I remember was being shot. We appeared to be at a station, though I saw no trains leaving. You were waiting on a bench for me, as was your former self however that wasn't you. Also when I went down the stairs, shadows passed by, and people appeared to be in a hurry. Also when I was awaiting instructions a board appeared. Now I suppose I could be dead, however some cultures believe that when we die, we get a choice as to whether to return to our plain or not. I am guessing the platforms symbolised the trains, and I am guessing as there are only four platforms, one must take you back, and one must take you on to complete your journey. Aka your death. I am guessing I am here to make a choice, and you have been sent here to help me make this choice, as someone who I am familiar and comfortable with."

John smiled "Brilliant as always. Pretty accurate Sherlock. Nice to see being shot in the chest hasn't dimmed your brain. You are right about everything that time. Yes I am here to help you make our choice but I am guessing you still have some questions?"

"Yes John, first of all, why the appearance thing?"

"Oh when I arrived and chose my path, I got the opportunity to change things a little. I've always wanted to be taller and the dark hair, and scarf well its kinda embarrassing but it reminded me of you."

"Your hairs longer, your more relaxed, appearing almost carefree?"

"Well that's how I feel"

"So what am I here for. How will make this choice? I mean I want to go back to home, to Baker Street..."

"That's good" John said

"I want to continue to use my mind, solve cases, save people's lives, stop my mind becoming stagnant" John nodded for him to continue "but what will I go back to?"

"I'm afraid I can't answer that Sherlock" John said

"Mycroft is gone, well as good as, he wants nothing to do with me. Lestraud is terminally. Cancer. Silly bugger didn't pick it up till a few months ago. Mrs Hudson is dead, old age. Even Moriety is dead. I have no one to go back to" Sherlock continued

John nodded his head sadly.

"I really don't know what to do. I don't think anyone is waiting for me on the the other side. I need to think. Tell me more about you, for example, what is your job title? Where are you from?"

"I'll tell you what I can. My job is to guide people I know to chose the correct route to suit them, whether its moving on, or going back to were they came from."

"What data do you have access to that allows you to help determine whether they should go back or not?"

"I am only able to reveal certain details, for example I can't tell you if you'll ever recover completely but I can give a prognoses as a doctor but nothing concrete "

"So what would mine be?"

"You were shot in the chest. Lack of oxygen to your brain too, however you are able to put your body under considerable stress and still be alive as memory serves and medicine is always improving. You may suffer some memory loss and a small amount of damage to the brain, but that could heal. Your lungs would be my worry area, as they are still very fragile, which will confine you to bed rest. Overall recovery maybe a month"

"That's as accurate as you can get? You said a lot of 'could's' in that"

"Well like I said, I can't guarantee anything . Besides its your health so things can change"

"OK well I need more data, for example can you see into the future, can you tell me if I will achieve anything amazing, if I will meet anyone worth my time?"

"I can't Sherlock, I can't tell you much"

"OK I have a question for you, Why did you chose to continue, why did you not return to me" Sherlock asked confused "I thought we had something and you said you'd never leave me"

"I am truly sorry Sherlock, but you know how badly I was injured, I could go back to you, but with the brain damage, I would had remained in a coma, and if I had recovered I would have been paralysed and almost in a vegetable state due to the damage, maybe trapped in my own body unable to communicate. I'm a proud man Sherlock as you well know, and I was a doctor, I knew all about this. This was the best option for me" John said quietly

"I'd have taken care of you, got you the best carers money could buy. I just wish you hadn't left me. I could still bounce ideas off you, and there is so much people can do to try and help you"

"I chose this life, leaving you was the hardest choice I have ever made. But I know I made the right choice for both of us. Now you have to make a choice"

"I need more data, for example if I decide to continue on this journey, will that eventually re-unite me with you or will I be going somewhere else like 'hell'"

"Hell doesn't exist Sherlock**. ** If you are 'bad' or 'Evil' you will walk the earth as a ghost till your penitence is paid. If you are 'good' then you go one to do my kind of thing and live a happy, content life."

"Do you know my fate?"

"I do not know any of the destinations Sherlock, I am just around for the journey, however if you do go onto 'heaven' for want of a better word, you will be re-united with those people you have loved and lost."

"How did you get into heaven? You committed a mortal sin and killed someone?"

"It doesn't work like that Sherlock, OK I am guessing the closet faith you are is Christian correct? So let me put it in terms you will understand. For arguments sake lets say 'God' had seen me commit that sin, however they saw I did it to protect you. When fighting in the war, I may have killed people, but I also saved more lives than I took. My good deeds and bad deeds were weighed up on a scale, and with the amount of lives saved as you friend, doctor and army man it luckily weighed in my favour, as I was able to account for all the deaths and the reasons they happened. I was never proud of any of the them, but I did what was required of me at the time."

"So I'll go to heaven right?" Sherlock asked "No wait there are all the stuff I stole from Barts, not to mention the amount of people who I injured or killed on cases. Innocent people too. But I have done good, and saved many lives, helping difficult puzzles but I don't care about those people. The only reason I want to stay is because I want to...well I'm scared John, you said you can't guarantee anything if I go back, I could be paralysed forever like you said brain starved of oxygen, what if I am trapped in my own mind?"

"It's a gamble Sherlock. I recon you'll be fine, you'll be off your feet for a while, but you have the ability to bounce back from anything reasonably well but if not people will care for you"

"I want to be independent!"

"There is still so much you can give the world still, so much you can do whatever happens"

"I...I don't know John.." Sherlock thought for a moment

"I don't mean to hurry you, but your trains leaving in half an hour to go back. If you miss that one...well that's the choice made for you"

"Oh great now times involved. I will think but I want to talk about us first"  
>"Us?" John replied<p>

"Yes. Why are you so eager to send me back? Don't you want me to stay with you?"

"Sherlock. It's not like that and you decide based around me, it has to be WHAT will be right for you. I can not influence your choice nor do I want to. I'm not allowed to either"

"So if I stayed would we be together?"

"I don't know Sherlock. I don't know how it works. Even if I did like I said I can't tell you, I can't influence your choice"

"But I thought you cared for me"

"I cared about you when we were on earth. I would do anything for you but now is not the time to be thinking about that. YOU have to decide"

"OK if I go back, will you still be waiting for me when I return in the future? Am I able to return in the future?"

"No this is your only chance. Next time you die, you will be dead and will never be able to go back home. I will always be waiting for you Sherlock, you know that. Whenever you return, I'll be waiting, I can promise you that"

"So I'll never lose you?"

"No Sherlock you won't"

"What about Mycroft? Can you tell me anything that happens in the future?"

"I can't Sherlock. Have you decided yet?"

"Your pushing me away John. Why?"

"Like I said I think you have so much still to offer the world, so many wonderful things to do, people to meet"

"Well then sounds like my choices have been made for me. You obviously know something about the future. I only have one chance at this. I can say goodbye to people. Solve some more cases. Earn more points to tilt the scale in my favour. It's all so obvious but...something is pulling me the other way. To stay here. You."

"Don't go there Sherlock, should you chose to stay, I can't guarantee you'll end up with me for a while, you'll have training, I'll have case work to do plus I'm not sure she'd allow it"

"She?"

"Yes, Sherlock. The person in charge is a woman. Its a new life. Anything is possible"

"I'll go back then. How long have I got?"

"Your train leaves in 10 minutes. I'll walk you to the station." John said guiding Sherlock to the station

"John I...uh...don't know if I want to go. I don't want to say goodbye to you again. Once was hard enough, you made me feel things, things I could never feel with anyone else ever"

"I have something for you" John said removing an item from his pocket. It was a simple white/gold band engraved simply with a leaf design. Sherlock picked it up looking at it.

"It's an eternity ring. It's also engraved"

Sherlock looked at it, on the inside 'Sherlock and John, forever us too'

"It's too take with you, to remind you and re-enforce I will be waiting when you return. I was meant to give it to you when we were alive, but fate had other ideas"

"Thanks John" Sherlock said gruffly before hugging John as the reached the platform and gently kissed him.

"Safe trip" John said making sure Sherlock got on the train. As the train pulled away, Sherlock refused to look out of the window. It would only make him want to go back.

John watched Sherlock go sadly. He heard the gentle chimes of bells in his ears. He sighed quietly. He closed his eyes and appeared before Elisa.

"John you did a brilliant job" She complimented

"Yeah" John said re-sidedly

"You don't seem very impressed?"

"I am happy he has gone back, he needs to go back and sort out the crimes but still..."

"A part of you wished he'd chosen to take a chance and stay with you. The thing is you knew he'd be able to be with you straight away. You lied to protect him. A very strong thing John and like you said you'll be re-united in the future"

"I know"

"Plus that ring will remind him, and you'll always be following him, protecting him"

"I know, I know it was the right thing to do but like the say, the right isn't the easiest road to be taken."

"Right you get 2 weeks break to relax before your next case."

As John left, he failed to notice the slight twinkle in her eyes.

**Back on Earth** Sherlock had awoken. Hospital staff were running around his bed sorting everything out. He didn't once release the ring held tightly in his hand, till everyone had gone, then painstakingly he looked down at it. A solid reminded. He was back home. It didn't really feel like home though. John was still missing. But as long as he had the band, John would always be with him. He knew that, even with how cliché it was, he knew. A nurse came in to check on him

"Has their been any visitors nurse" He asked

"Yes a young lady called Molly, and Lestrard whose incidentally just returned. Would you like to see him?"  
>"Yes"<p>

The nurse pushed Lestrard in a wheelchair, his cancer had got worse and he was barely able to do anything alone anymore

"You have 10 minutes sir" She said before quietly shutting the door

"Well Sherlock, were have you been? You gave everyone quite a scare" Sherlock saw Lestrard thin, sickly, his eyes had lost their usual glow. His sentences were very basic. He looked tired. Worn out.

"I've been contemplating life choices" Sherlock said diplomatically

"Me too, things have gotten hard for me now. I have also put myself under full time care to be less of a burden to my family

"Oh so its the end of an era then"

"For me, yes"

"I saw him Lestrard. John helped me. I still don't know why I came back here. Its an end of an era. Have you seen Mycroft?"

"No I haven't, sorry. His still not come? How unusual even after you've had your spats...So you saw John. John guided you back here. That is pretty amazing. Like a near death experience"

"Yeah" Sherlock answered

"Look I have to go, my carers waiting for me, and well I don't know when I'll be able to visit again. Its progressing faster than people expected. I will still be able to call hopefully for a little longer"

"OK Just in case, can we say Goodbye. I don't know how long they'll keep me"

"OK well its been a pleasure working with you, and no doubt we will meet somewhere in the future"

The shook hands. Molly appeared a few minutes later just as Lestrard was leaving

"Sherlock, Um...I'm glad you're OK. When your back on your feet come and visit me in the morgue and I'll see what body parts I can procure for you" She said with a smile

Sherlock gave her a rare smile before she gently took his hand, kissed it She smiled awkwardly before leaving. Sherlock looked down at the ring in his hand. He lay there for the rest of the day, silently, seeming to sink further into depression. He had secretly hoped Mycroft would be waiting, that they could put aside some differences. And be brothers just for one day. Towards the end of visiting hours Molly appeared again.

"Can you write something down for me please" Sherlock asked. Molly smiled and pulled out a note pad

"To Mycroft, I forgive you. I hope you can forgive me. I am happy were I am going Goodbye dear brother. Signed SH"

Moll looked uncertain at the letter. It scarred her a bit.

"Were are you going"

"Oh no where, its just in case, can you give it to my brother please? I would be very grateful"

"Of course"

"Did you want me to get you anything else?"

"Yes, I did. Look Molly I do apologise that I have never returned your feelings. You will find someone who will in the future I am sure of it. You are a very kind person."

"Um..Thanks Sherlock"

"Do you mind leaving me a while, I need to think"

Molly disappeared. Sherlock had, had enough, He had waited for his brother. His brother did not show. Their was no one any more. The only people he wanted wasn't there. He lay down and closed his eyes. The nurses continued to check on his through out the night noticed everything slowing down and called the doctor. Sherlock opened his eyes slowly. The doctors ran all sorts of tests on him, the doctors were puzzled after his remarkable recovery, he seemed to be losing the battle. He heard a doctor say quietly to another

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say his lost the will to live."

"Do you think brain damage?"

"Possibly. His slipping further away"

"Hang on, a man's just appeared"

"Sherlock. Oh my god! You daft sod" Mycroft cried as he entered the room

"Leave me please, I want to be alone with my brother"

"But sir..."

"Leave us, or I'll make sure you don't have a job in the morning" He said fiercely

All the doctors left. Mycroft appeared with a familiar piece of paper.

"What is this? Why are you not fighting? The doctors have said..."

"Mycroft." Sherlock said quietly "I don't want to be here any more, Everyone is going. I don't want to be alone. Don't pretend I don't know Mycroft. You are going on a mission, a suicide one. You know it, I know it. I just don't want to be here alone any more. I have no energy to live any more, please just let me go"

"Sherlock, the thing is, I think you are able to make these choices with a sound mind. Would you like to go on the Glasgow plan?"

"Yes, I would. Will you arrange it?"

"Well it's not really suicide with how you are, you could still go either way. Yeah I will use my influence but just answer me one question, why?"  
>Sherlock held out his hand that contained the ring John had given him<p>

"I saw John, he gave it to me. His waiting for me Mycroft" his eyes having that familiar glow that he had, when he was happy.

"OK, well you are still touch and go. If it will make you happy, then fine, done."

Mycroft disappeared for a minute to speak to the doctors. He came back an hour later, with a do no resuscitate order and smiled at Sherlock.

"Should you go downhill suddenly, they have orders to only give you pain relief to make you comfy and not to resuscitate you should you stop breathing."

"Thank you" Sherlock said

"Can I do anything else for you?"

"Yes in my left pocket is a ring box. Can you pass it to me?"

Mycroft did as was asked. He saw a white gold ring, simple in design with a small number of roses circling it. "Wow" Mycroft said "I had it designed especially before he died, I just never got to give it to him."

"Well Sherlock, whatever I say, it's been good being your brother and I wish you and John well"

"Thanks Mycroft, now bugger off" He said with a smile

"As you wish" Mycroft uncharacteristically leant over and kissed his brother on the forehead. "Were should I send our wedding present?" He asked

Sherlock just glared at him.

1 day later

Sherlock suddenly deteriorated. He started having double vision, vomiting and bringing up blood. The tear had opened up in his lungs again. They rushed him to surgery, but he flat lined as they were prepping.

"His gone, we have a do not resuscitate order, I'm calling it. Sherlock Holmes time of death 2.21am" The doctor snapped his gloves off. Mycroft was called and came to collect his personal effects.

'Heaven's' Judgement Room

Sherlock awoke to find himself in front of a young woman wearing a bright smile

"Mr. Holmes, You are rejoining us so soon?"

"There was a complication"

"I know. Anyway I have studied everything you have achieved. I merely have one question why did you steal those things from Barts?"

"I was looking into how certain chemicals affected the brain, and prevented 3 peoples deaths by doing so, see the chemical was..."

"OK I see your point" She said laughing "Right you have two weeks to get settled. You are in Apartment 221B. You are in a shared apartment"

"Can you request room mates"

"I am afraid not. We base it around order when people have died. We only make allowances for married couples"

"OK, So if I married up here, I'd be able to live with someone right?"

"Of course. Oh and contrary to popular belief, gender plays no role in love. Anything is possible up here"

"OK" He took the key

"Everything you need is there. Welcome Home" She said with a smile

Sherklock entered the gates, laughing at the idea of a gated community. How quaint and how boring. He wondered who his new house mate was and wondered when he'd be able to see John or if John was still doing case work. He walked up to the apartment and opened the door. He caught a glance of a sandy coloured hair, however still had a relaxed pose sitting on the sofa.

"Hello Sherlock" A familiar voice said

John turned around and smiled at Sherlock making Sherlock smile

"I put in a request and with you accepting that band, we were pretty much married"

"The band, Oh crap John, with it at the hospital, I had it in my hands, I don't know..."

**On Earth**

Mycroft collected his brother's clothing, as he sorted through the stuff he held up the 2 rings to look at them, before they glimmered in the light, disappearing in a shimmering light. Mycroft smiled. 'Good Luck guys, look after each other"

Back at 221B

"...It's here?"  
>He looked down at the band.<p>

"I also have something for you, to make it official" He said holding out the ring to John. It was elegantly carved. "Like you I had it made before you died but lost the courage to give it to you"

"Wow Sherlock, its uniquely beautiful"

"It's a promise. To love you. To love only you. I am glad we are together again in 211B. Can we solve cases up here? Oh and I do prefer you as a blonde"

"I don't know what job you'll be assigned, you have a two week waiting period to adjust, I happen to have the next two weeks, what's say we just enjoy being in love and together again?"

"That is the most articulate idea you have ever had Dr. John Watson" Sherlock said

John chucked and was about to walk over to the Kitchen, Before Sherlock whirled around and kissed John softly on the lips. Timid at first, then deepening the kiss once he was sure John wouldn't react by running away.

Now what adventures can the get up to in 'Heaven'? Well there still will drama? Who knows, but I know one thing, they are both were they belong, together.

T h E e N d


End file.
